I Have a Confession to Make…

Okay, so I have a confession to make. Here I am the marketing gal, but I’m reluctant to say that I’ve been slacking a bit on my end of things – for our nursery, for my invitation company.

I’m not saying that I haven’t been doing anything. But I haven’t been giving it all I’ve got that’s for sure.

…My daughter is turning 2 years old next month and being a mother is the hardest thing I have ever done. Right now I’m doing good – I don’t consider it the hardest thing in my life right now. But, especially in the beginning, it was the most difficult thing I’ve ever had to do.

During my pregnancy I had envisioned how I would get so much work done on my maternity leave with my brand new baby sleeping nearby – that was totally delusional of me. Try sleeping in intervals of 2-3 hours at a time day after day after day – there are no days off in being a mom…I was a total zombie. A living version of the walking dead. 

After 3 months of leave I returned to work. All that did was add another scheduled element to my existing sleeping (or lack of sleep) schedule. I stopped wearing make-up or even attempting to be fashionable (my previous indulgence). If I managed a shower in the morning that was a feat in itself. Eventually, 2-3 hour sleep intervals turned into only having to wake up twice a night at 2 am and 4 am,…I became a pseudo-zombie.

Then around when Gwen was one and half she began to sleep through the night. Hurray!…but wait, now the problem was that she wasn’t going to sleep until midnight and 2 am and a couple of times at 4 am…and I have to be at work at 8 am – you do the math.

Things are getting better now – we’re at 11:30pm right now and I can do that. We’re still working on moving her sleep time up. Although I easily get confused as to what day it actually is – frantically waking up on a Saturday because I think I’m late to work or sleeping in too much on a Thursday because I think it’s Sunday – and I also have no concept of time…2 days feels like 2 weeks ago so don’t ask me I can’t remember – that’s why I write down anything pertinent.

Currently, since I can get at least 7 hours of much needed zzz’s most nights, I am again wearing make-up and getting dressed…the hair is still to come (I just had it cut and styled…I haven’t had a haircut since Gwen was 3 months old!). And now that I’m finally feeling like my old self, I’m ready to take the bull by the horns! It’s going to be a year of change for us in 2012 and I hope a year of change for you too!


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